I thought I could do it on my own. I thought I could win this, that I was strong enough to succeed without any outside help. Now I see that I was wrong. Totally wrong. I hate to start this again, right when I’m about to leave for London, but is seems necessary. It seems that I can’t escape my own being long enough to stop this disease from taking over me. Because that’s what it is - a disease. And now, I have to start from the bottom of the mountain and work my way back up again. And I hate it. 

There’s a reason I stopped. 

Time to start the fight again.

*Sorry for being so cryptic… and creepy. This is more or less a stream of consciousness that I needed to put somewhere, anywhere separate from me, and where better than Tumblr?