* I realize that this sounds insane and like a story, but it’s completely true.

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am extremely interested in creepy, morbid things, like executions, ghosts, and just the occult in general. For weeks, I’ve been convinced that my apartment is haunted (much to the chagrin of some of my roommates :P). I think I just find the other worldliness connected to all of these fascinating, and I love the fact that we modern people could somehow connect with someone like, oh, I don’t know, Lewis Payne/Powell (one of the Lincoln conspirators hanged for his crimes). Well, last night, I realized that this man bears a remarkable resemblance to someone to whom I am very attracted. Obviously, when I realized this, I went on my usual kick about how interesting the Lincoln conspirators are, etc. I even watched the new movie The Conspirator (which was fabulous, by the way, and you should all watch it), finishing around 3 a.m. Here’s where the story gets interesting.

As I was lying in bed, I noticed how cool my room was, and settled into my covers to sleep off the long day I’d had. Suddenly, I felt like my entire room was on fire. I was uncomfortably warm, a strange thing since I had just noted how cold my room was. My throat began to feel tight, and I started to scratch at it. Then I couldn’t breathe. I tried breathing through my mouth, and it felt like I was losing oxygen by the second. I actually had to concentrate on my breathing because I felt that if I didn’t, I might forget to breathe. I started to see stars, and I rolled over onto my back to allow my chest to open up. When that didn’t work, I tried rolling onto my other side to see if it was just the way that my body was positioned. Nothing worked. I was actually gasping for air at this point, and I tried to say something (I honestly don’t know what - who would have heard it?), and I couldn’t. I was terrified of not having enough air, and I was afraid to fall asleep. What if I stopped breathing? What if I was having some sort of stroke or heart attack? What happens next is kind of blurry. I seemed to pass out (I don’t remember how I actually fell into sleep), and the next thing I knew, a completely white person reached out to me in this delusional sleep, and seemed to touch my forehead. I woke up immediately, still gasping for air. The only thing I thought of was getting rid of this sensation that something was strangling me with something. In kind of a desperate plea for relief, I kind of gasped, “Please stop.” And gradually it went away - I was able to breathe a little easier, and the heat slowly faded. I finally fell asleep, and woke up normally.

I’ve been on the phone with my dad for the past half-hour, trying to figure out what might have caused this phenomenon. I’ve looked into sleep paralysis, mini heart attacks, etc., and nothing seems to account for the feelings I was having. It literally felt like someone was pulling a rope around my throat. I know that I had been watching a movie about hanging before I settled down for the night, but I’ve watched things like this before, and I’ve never had that type of experience. It was honestly the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced. And I don’t know what to do about it simply because I have no idea what it was or what happened to me.